Better than a kick in the pants

I entered that baking contest… I came in THIRD! Which isn’t really so bad for someone who’s track record is as shady as mine!

I lost to a Bavarian Torte… which I ate a piece of later… it was a worthy win for her! I had to laugh tho… it was a baking contest in which the item had to have apple in it… and one person entered a pineapple upside down cake… LOL…not quite!
I’ve decided that one of the things I’m going to do on my holiday is hand dye some yarn… I think it would be really fun, and I’m interested to see how difficult it is…

One last thing for you… a picture of how I found Mr. Fluffypants this morning… oh, the life of a cat!

Are ya freakin’ KIDDING???

So this afternoon, after having a bit of a melt in my manager’s office, which I’m sure half the floor heard, she decided that we needed to eat… Well, actually she found me sitting in my desk chair, with my arms by my sides staring off into space, after I retreated from her office, so she suggested that even if I didn’t want to eat, I go downstairs with her anyway… Which I did… Well we ended up in Red Robin, where we had underwhelming chicken wraps… We sat and chatted for a long time, and were at the very moment discussing our high school years, when it happened…. the waiter came along to clear the table and ~SWOOSH~ an entire large glass of water and ice came FLYING across the table and landed (all probably about 2cups or so) in my lap… As it was slooshing over the edge of the table, the waiter was taking a break from reality, in where he started laughing and ran away to bring FOUR small napkins… and then used his bare hands to try and swoosh the water away from me… By this time I was hysterical with laughter, but my jeans weighed about 11 lbs… have you ever put wet jeans on right out of the wash?? Oh, admit it, you have! Or gotten caught in a torrential downpour and found yourself encased in wet denim? Ya, well that’s how I spend the last four hours of my day… My manager had told me I could go home if I wanted, but I had things to finish up, and the moisture finally warmed up to my body temperature and it wasn’t SO bad…

In other, better news, I have just made what I think is the BEST Apple Cheesecake EVER! It’s at least 10 times better than the test run from two weeks ago and I’m CONVINCED it should win… well,not convinced, but I’d be very impressed if it did.. you see, my baking history includes accidentally putting Celery Salt in place of Nutmeg in Cinnamon buns, and lighting my oven mit on fire while making garlic bread… so I made this fantastic dessert (twice now) and there hasn’t been any smoke or fire! And I put all the right ingredients in… I’d fall down if *I* won a baking contest. In true Princess Darcy fashion tho, I went to town on the presentation. I bought baby blue paper plates from the dollar store and 3D foil butterfly stickers. Then I put the stickers on the rim of the plate (two each, one big, one little). Then I bought small styrene apples from another dollar store and put toothpicks into the bottoms of them, made them a small waxed paper circle to sit on (so as not to poison people, if the styrene leaches) and I’ll stab it into the middle of the square of cheesecake. I stand to win an Ipod Nano, so that would be cool… even tho I don’t need one… it was fun finding the recipe, testing and refining it and then fooling around with the presentation.

I’m on holiday now until a week from Monday…

That’s all
D

Heard in Vancouver

This is from a while ago, but I thought I’d share:

Three Girls in a Sushi Restaurant

Girl 1 – Tell Girl 3 about your answer on the exam
Girl 2 – Oh! Hahaha! Well the question was: ‘What is the one thing Human’s can do, that no other species can do?’
Girl 3 – Oh… it’s something to do with opposable thumbs, isn’t it?
Girl 2 – Ya… that’s not what I said
Girl 3 – Really, what did you say
Girl 2 – I said ‘reproduction’. (side note from me: are you freaking KIDDING ME???… Kids coming out of our school system believe that humans are the only species that can reproduce??)
Girl 3 – OMG, that’s so stupid!
Girl 1 – Ya, I don’t think the opposable thumbs thing is true anyway… I know of some dinosaurs that have opposable thumbs!! (side note from me: you KNOW of some dinosaurs that HAVE opposable thumbs?? As tho there are dinosaurs roaming the earth right now that could flick a zippo and light the bush on fire??)

Anyway, that’s what I heard the other day. I thought my head was going to explode because I was sitting across from them, so had I started laughing, they would have known! That happened the same day that a lady that works four blocks away from me came down to my office to pick something up… She proceeded to bitch about having to walk that far, which is her perogative I guess (it was only four blocks on a beautiful sunny day), but then she announced to me that next time she has to come down here (four blocks) she’s going to get petty cash and take TRANSIT! LMAO… I couldn’t keep a straight face for that one! TRANSIT?? To go four blocks? Are you joking? Sadly, she was not!

That’s all
D

Dear Stupid Morons!

Dear Furniture Movers;

I think I was a little bit harsh with you this morning… Even tho I didn’t call you ‘Friggen Morons’ I think my attitude suggested that I felt that way.
When I came to work this morning, you had blocked off the entrance to my cubicle with a 36″ round table… this did not impress me. I knew immediately what the table was for, but not why it was on the SIXTH floor, instead of the FIFTH floor, as the bill of lading indicated it should be. When I called your supervisor to get you to come back, since you also forgot to take the old table with you (from the fifth floor), he was very kind and sent you over right away. Apparently when you were here the first time, you asked the receptionist which table you were supposed to take away. You pointed to an orange and silver retro cart with drawers and asked if it was that… your delivery ticket said 36″ ROUND TABLE. Lucky for you, she didn’t let you take my cart… Can you read?

When you arrived back, you startled me, as I was taking a bite of my yogurt and blueberries when you stormed my cubicle… Your smell was rather unpleasant to say the least… Anyway, after I explained to you that the table was to go downstairs to the 5th floor, in place of the one there that you needed to take, you asked me to join you in the elevator. Since I didn’t want this little charade of stupidity to go on for longer than it needed to, I decided to hold my breath and go down one floor to escort you.
It was quite disconcerting when you handed me your toolbox because I ‘have a free hand’ so you and your partner could ROLL the table on it’s WHEELS through the elevator door. I might have dropped the toolbox a little hard on the elevator floor, but at that point your smell and the fact that you were too stupid to put the tool box on TOP OF THE WHEELED TABLE was overwhelming!
When you both got out of the elevator with the rolling table and stood in the hallway staring at me, I asked you if you wanted your toolbox… since I was in NO WAY going to pick it up. You asked me to grab it at which point I got out of the elevator and nearly let the doors close with it still inside… snapping at you on my way past that the table IS ON WHEELS! It does not require two people to HOLD IT DOWN while your customer carries your toolbox.. no my friend… it does not!

I opened the door to the office it was going in, and you tried to jam the new table into the tiny office before removing the old table. When I suggested that perhaps it would be better to remove the one first, you dragged the new one out into the hall and seemingly disappeared. When you came back, you had your toolkit and you flipped the WHEELED table over on to it’s side and proceeded to start taking the legs off! WHY?? Why would you make ONE ROLLING PART into FIVE parts, that can no longer be ROLLED??? I told you that I didn’t have time to stand in our director’s office while you did that, and perhaps you could WHEEL it downstairs and disassemble it on the truck, if you really felt it necessary to take it apart. You were rather put out, but you did drag it out of the office and WHIP the new one in. While I was putting the director’s stuff back where it belonged on his new table, you left. I THOUGHT you LEFT! Nope. You were in the hallway of the building, sprawled out on the floor, with the table on it’s side and ALL your tools spread around you. Worse than that, you were completely blocking the door to the suite next to ours. They couldn’t come or go. I told you that you couldn’t block the door, and mentioned that perhaps you’d like to go disassemble the table on the truck, as I had asked. You seemed pissed, but you packed everything up and left.

When I came upstairs to let my manager know that the table was swapped, before I could say anything, she said ‘so what’s up with the table in the LOBBY!?? THE LOBBY? Oh yes, apparently, you decided to forgo my advice to just disassemble the table on the truck, so you pressed the table up against the doors to the BUILDING and proceeded to take the legs off. My manager couldn’t get into the building and the guy coming off the elevator couldn’t get OUT of the building. Are ya dumb? Seriously… are you?

Okay… I don’t think I was too harsh with you… I think I wasn’t harsh enough… ergo I will be phoning your manager.. a buddy of mine and tattle taling on your stupid, smelly asses!

More of the same

I’m a knitting machine! I had no idea I would love knitting as much as I do! I love seeing something come from nothing… and I love the final bindoff stitch when I can pull my needles free and twirl them around in the air… unencumbered by yarn and a fragile knitting project! I love washing the finished piece and laying it out to dry… (altho I’m a little impatient in the drying process and run into the room every 15min to touch to see if it’s any drier!)
And, while it’s tons of work, I love making the lining and sewing the pieces together and ending up with a functional handbag! I’ve made four now, three of which are lined, with handles and ready to use… two of which I’ve actually filled up with stuff and toted around with me. I’ve also made one full scarf, half a scarf (in progress) and have another two on the go… It’s relaxing and rewarding… my mind wanders to things unknown, since I know my mind wanders when I knit, but I can’t think of a single thing I’ve ever thought of…

Anyway, besides that, I’ve been busy at work, and trying to get things sorted out at home. Last weekend we powerwashed the bunker to get it all ready for our bbq this weekend. Had it not been for my migraines this weekend, we would have sanded down and painted the cabinet in the bunker. It’s going to be red with a black wash on it (think antique asian cabinet) and we’ll put something in the doors where the glass used to be… perhaps more glass? I think this will be a better storage solution for us outside. Not sure what is going in it, but I’m sure we’ll think of something ;). I’m not crazy about getting rid of the old barnboard shelf that my G’pa made me, but it’s sort of not really serving a purpose anymore and I would prefer the red cabinet instead.

Having a bbq this weekend with some friends in our backyard. I’m hoping to get the campfire pit up and running, but not sure anyone is going to be over that late… I might sit out there all by myself with my marshmallows… 🙂