Dear Stupid Morons!

Dear Furniture Movers;

I think I was a little bit harsh with you this morning… Even tho I didn’t call you ‘Friggen Morons’ I think my attitude suggested that I felt that way.
When I came to work this morning, you had blocked off the entrance to my cubicle with a 36″ round table… this did not impress me. I knew immediately what the table was for, but not why it was on the SIXTH floor, instead of the FIFTH floor, as the bill of lading indicated it should be. When I called your supervisor to get you to come back, since you also forgot to take the old table with you (from the fifth floor), he was very kind and sent you over right away. Apparently when you were here the first time, you asked the receptionist which table you were supposed to take away. You pointed to an orange and silver retro cart with drawers and asked if it was that… your delivery ticket said 36″ ROUND TABLE. Lucky for you, she didn’t let you take my cart… Can you read?

When you arrived back, you startled me, as I was taking a bite of my yogurt and blueberries when you stormed my cubicle… Your smell was rather unpleasant to say the least… Anyway, after I explained to you that the table was to go downstairs to the 5th floor, in place of the one there that you needed to take, you asked me to join you in the elevator. Since I didn’t want this little charade of stupidity to go on for longer than it needed to, I decided to hold my breath and go down one floor to escort you.
It was quite disconcerting when you handed me your toolbox because I ‘have a free hand’ so you and your partner could ROLL the table on it’s WHEELS through the elevator door. I might have dropped the toolbox a little hard on the elevator floor, but at that point your smell and the fact that you were too stupid to put the tool box on TOP OF THE WHEELED TABLE was overwhelming!
When you both got out of the elevator with the rolling table and stood in the hallway staring at me, I asked you if you wanted your toolbox… since I was in NO WAY going to pick it up. You asked me to grab it at which point I got out of the elevator and nearly let the doors close with it still inside… snapping at you on my way past that the table IS ON WHEELS! It does not require two people to HOLD IT DOWN while your customer carries your toolbox.. no my friend… it does not!

I opened the door to the office it was going in, and you tried to jam the new table into the tiny office before removing the old table. When I suggested that perhaps it would be better to remove the one first, you dragged the new one out into the hall and seemingly disappeared. When you came back, you had your toolkit and you flipped the WHEELED table over on to it’s side and proceeded to start taking the legs off! WHY?? Why would you make ONE ROLLING PART into FIVE parts, that can no longer be ROLLED??? I told you that I didn’t have time to stand in our director’s office while you did that, and perhaps you could WHEEL it downstairs and disassemble it on the truck, if you really felt it necessary to take it apart. You were rather put out, but you did drag it out of the office and WHIP the new one in. While I was putting the director’s stuff back where it belonged on his new table, you left. I THOUGHT you LEFT! Nope. You were in the hallway of the building, sprawled out on the floor, with the table on it’s side and ALL your tools spread around you. Worse than that, you were completely blocking the door to the suite next to ours. They couldn’t come or go. I told you that you couldn’t block the door, and mentioned that perhaps you’d like to go disassemble the table on the truck, as I had asked. You seemed pissed, but you packed everything up and left.

When I came upstairs to let my manager know that the table was swapped, before I could say anything, she said ‘so what’s up with the table in the LOBBY!?? THE LOBBY? Oh yes, apparently, you decided to forgo my advice to just disassemble the table on the truck, so you pressed the table up against the doors to the BUILDING and proceeded to take the legs off. My manager couldn’t get into the building and the guy coming off the elevator couldn’t get OUT of the building. Are ya dumb? Seriously… are you?

Okay… I don’t think I was too harsh with you… I think I wasn’t harsh enough… ergo I will be phoning your manager.. a buddy of mine and tattle taling on your stupid, smelly asses!

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