I’m about a day late and a dollar short on this one but it’s going to get me all riled up and I was in super chill mojo land on the weekend and didn’t want to get all aggravated…
I’m so sick and tired of all the competition between women lately! I don’t understand all the judgement that is being bandied about lately!
There was an article on the Huffington Post (I found it via a twitter link from Yarnharlot… I most certainly don’t spend my time looking for this stuff) that basically said that women that engage in ‘typical’ female behavior (such as knitting, gardening and cupcakes?!?) aren’t ‘tough enough’ to call themselves feminists. That article in no time was ripped to shreds mostly by the knitting community. My only thought (because I typically don’t spend a lot of time thinking about this… more on that later) was ‘isn’t the general movement behind ‘feminism’ an idea that we’re able to choose to do whatever the hell we want?’ And what does ‘tough’ have to do with anything? Many of the commenters on that post (all 344 of them) spent a good amount of time defending their ‘toughness’. Many of them ‘shoot guns’ or ‘fix their own cars’. What I want to know is why you have to justify your ‘toughness’ to someone that thinks that cartoon characters are better feminists than you.
The reason I spend so little time thinking about this is maybe because I’m priviledged and sheltered, but maybe it’s because I just want to be seen as a woman. I’m a female. I’m not a feminist. I’m not ‘tough’. I’m not ‘girly’. I’m me. I’m a woman in 2011 and I feel no such need to justify myself to anyone. Every day we are all given tests and trials that require a different part of us to be the star in order to get through it. Sometimes we need the soft and gentle side, sometimes we need the ‘don’t mess with me side’. And sometimes an equal combination of both is best. That doesn’t make you any more or less female.
The other thing that is bothering me is this competition of ‘real women’. What the fuck is a ‘real woman’? What is a ‘fake’ woman? And what is the scale on which one is judged in order to make it into the ‘real’ woman category. From what I understand, it’s a ‘saying’ that was dreamt up by fat women to make themselves feel better. Essentially saying that ‘skinny bitches’ aren’t real women. Uh what? What’s the poundage that one must be overweight by before they qualilfy as a ‘real’ woman? And for those that are genetically predispositioned to be thin, or those with eating disorders, or those that have a chronic illness that has caused weightloss, what does that mean to them? They’re no longer considered ‘real’?
My opinion on this ‘competition’ between the BEST feminists and the REALEST women is the following:
We have been fighting the entire world since the existance of time to be equal. To have our wages be equal and fair. To not feel that we are in danger whenever we’re alone at night. To be taken seriously in WHATEVER role we decide we want for our life. And now, NOW at the time when it’s getting there… when women can be whatever they want… can go to school, can excel and can choose for their own lives, we’re fighting amongst ourselves over who’s BETTER? Are you kidding me?
I agree that there will always be competition in the world… in the workplace. You’re the BETTER doctor, she’s the BETTER chemist… he’s the better pilot… that’s quantifiable competition.
The best feminist, the realest woman, the best mommy… all nonsense and all that does is tear apart the global team of women when really, were we to actually stick together and work together, we could see amazing change… but instead, we just seem to attack eachother.
Maybe we should all try being ‘women’ for a while and see what happens.