This and That

Not very much interesting has happened this week… I spent one day in my bed with a terrible headache… feeling a bit better now, but sure glad it’s the weekend!
I went on my Valentine’s date with Sam and we had a lot of fun!  We went to Cupcakes for some treats and a before dinner appetizer.  Yes, all they serve is cupcakes, so yes, we ate cupcakes for an appetizer!  I only ate the top of mine and gave the cake part to Sam… Mine was the Diva… yummy!

 
Our next stop was a visit with some friends that I haven’t seen in about 7 years… apparently one of them didn’t recognize me because I didn’t have long hair???  I can’t even remember when the last time I had long hair was…
Then we went to Save On Meats for dinner.  It was really delicious.  Not exactly fancy restaurant faire, but very cool ambiance (we sat at the bar) and very friendly staff and good food.  What more can you ask for?  Plus, their mandate is really to help the community as much as they can.  Their location is in the heart of the famous Downtown East Side and the inhabitants for the most part are folks pretty down on their luck.  The fact that they can come in and get good healthy fresh food for $5 a plate is fantastic!  They have a butcher shop on the other side of their shop and that also sells affordable meat and other grocery products so the less fortunate residents can have a good meal!
 
 
Afterwards we went to Little Sisters Bookstore to buy Valentine’s day cards… I found a totally hilarious line of cards that I resisted buying every one of them… with the intent to look up the company online… I think the Bailey’s milkshake I had with dinner went to my head because I didn’t write it down or take a picture… so… Fail… 😦
 
 
Nothing much else to report.  I started a new sweater and it’s actually going really well.  I’m mostly done the yoke (3 rows to go) and then I can separate for the sleeves… so exciting because that means I can put it on!
 
This weekend I’m going to work on my relationship with Stevie the TV and get to know Lofa the Sofa a bit better 😉
 
And here’s a picture of what I see on the wall in my bathroom every morning.  How can you not smile!
 
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I Saw, I Want, I Love, I Need

1.  I saw a couple get engaged two weeks ago… It appeared that they rented the Downtown Historic Railway Car and he proposed to her in the rain at the little station.  It was really cute and they had photographers and their friends and family were on the train watching… She seemed genuinely surprised.. which I gathered from spying on them from my office with binos.  
2.  I want to punch myself in the face based on someone elses irrational life management skills.  It makes me want to scream and yell because I don’t understand YET AGAIN (!) why I have to be an adult, get up and go to work and keep living my life through the hardest 10 months I’ve ever struggled through and others get what seems to be a free pass to be useless and check out.  I know life is not fair and you only get out of it what you’re willing to put into it, and I’m willing to put as much as I can in, where other people are not, but it’s still maddening that these people seem to get all the support and time off and any other thing they ‘need’ and people like me get tossed off to the wayside as not ‘needing anything’ because we’re not a bunch of quitters.
3.  I love that for Valentine’s Day, Sam and I are going to the Downtown East Side (the 2nd poorest postal code in Canada) for dinner.(duh edit… we’re going the day AFTER…)  If you have the Oprah Network, maybe you’ve seen the show Gastown Gamble.  If you watch Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, you may have seen it recently. It’s called Save-on Meats and it started out in 1957 as a butcher and diner.  They’ve reopened the diner portion as an inexpensive and tasty restaurant and I hear it’s really good.  They have Breakfast Poutine (fries, squeaky cheese and a fried egg), Coffee flavored milkshakes and Chocolate Chip Bacon Cookies.  Here’s a link to the menu if you want to titilate your tastebuds a little.
4.  I need to block a shawl I just I finished.  I started it March 2011… Sort of knit off and on on it and then it was too far in to rip it out, so I stuck it in a far deep corner of my knitting area and let it wait…Some how it worked it’s way out of ‘storage’ and onto my coffee table… where it sat mocking me for a time… When I realized I really didn’t have a single other thing on the needles, I took it to coffee and Glenda and I managed to figure out a way to end it on the yarn left and have it look good.  It looks FANTASTIC!  I’m really excited about washing and blocking it… Here’s a close up of what the pattern is.

Why does it matter to you?

Proposition 8 was overturned in California today as unconstitutional.  For those that don’t know, Proposition 8 was a California ballot proposition that sought to change the California Constitution to add a new section (7.5) to Article I, that would read: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”
 
 
Obviously, for those that support (or should I say, have no reason not to support) equality for all, that was a huge loss.  This morning in a 2-1 ruling, the Ninth Circuit Court of California ruled it was unconstitutional. Same-sex couples won’t be running to the alter any time soon, since the order was stayed so that supporters of Prop 8 can appeal.
This is what one of the judges said this morning:
“Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples,” states the opinion written by Judge Stephen Reinhardt, one of the court’s most liberal judges.
 
Now, here’s where my question comes in.  Why does it matter?  Why does a heterosexual in a stable relationship care if two homosexuals get married? That gay or lesbian person wasn’t going to marry YOU anyway, so why do you care?  I know, I know, lots of prop 8 supporters (and other anti same sex marriage supporters) say that it diminishes the ‘impact’ of marriage.  That it cheapens it.  Again, what does someone else’s marriage have to do with YOUR marriage?  If you eat white rice and I eat brown rice, does my eating brown rice make your rice less white?  If you’re a vegetarian, does my eating meat make you less of a vegetarian?  What if I said that I was a vegetarian that ate meat on occassion.  Does that cheapen how YOU feel about being a vegetarian?
 
For that matter, since we’re talking about food, and this entry has already strayed from the general topics of this blog, let me ask why there’s ‘fat-hate’.  What difference does it make if I’m 30 or 80lbs over weight and you’re not.  Does that impact your life?  Does it give you a lesser quality of life? 
 
How about religion?  Does my being or not being of a certain religion affect how you worship and celebrate your religion?
 
I don’t think I’m a good person to have this conversation with because I just don’t care what other people do.  Not that I don’t care about other people, but as long as everyone is consenting adults, free to make up their own minds and hearts about what they want and don’t want, then that means that they get to be in charge of their destiny. In charge of their own happy, whatever that looks like.
 
I’m sitting in a place of privilege to write this, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not homosexual, I’m not morbidly obese and my chosen religion is one that is not persecuted here where I live and not in many many other countries.  I have no disfigurement, no learning disability and do have money.
 
I know a lot of people would say that it’s easy for me to sit in my life and wonder why this is such a big deal.  And to those people, I would say ‘I’m on YOUR side!’.  It would be easy to sit here in my life and say that same sex marriage is sacrilige and that being fat is disgusting and a drain on the health system (like smoking, drugs and drinking aren’t??) and that everyone should be a Christian because that’s what I am.  But easy never got anyone anywhere… Easy isn’t my cup of tea.
 
I wish this blog got more traffic because I’d like someone to calmly explain to me why it matters.  Why what someone else does in their own time, on their own dime matters to you.
 
If you have insight into why people feel this way, please share… because it boggles my mind!
 

Her

So I’m not that good at thinking up things to blog about lately… Like my sister says, I’m not wearing my bloggles…
So I’m going to steal from her, because I had this kind of epiphany last night…Her blog from this morning starts with a memory of something she enjoyed and got back to doing…
My epiphany, while having no action behind it, leads me to believe that there is an awakening happening in my mind… pieces of the very distant past being freed… surfacing in the present and reminding me who I once was… (this is the very distant HAPPY past, not the more recent miserable past).
I got home from work last night and the only thing on my mind was a shower.  It’s weird because I don’t usually shower at night and certainly not as the most important first thing I do when I get home.
So I popped my shower cap (can you buy nice ones, or do I have to continue to steal from hotels??) on my head (I just hate wet hair!) and hopped in… As I let my mind drift, it drifted back to the many many showers I used to take when I was running and going to boot.  Depending on the day, sometimes three, most of the time, two.
Thinking nothing of it, I got out and bury’d my face in my towel… and the most familiar soapy, lotiony smell  of showers gone by filled my lungs… I don’t use scented products and this morning when I went to use my same towel, I couldn’t find the smell… but in that moment, as I dried my face and took off my stupid cheap shower cap, I looked at myself in the mirror and in there… behind my eyes, I saw her… The her that doesn’t hate herself…the her that has never left me… The her that knows she’s strong enough to make it back… The her that is still mired in conflict and hiding deep inside came a little closer to the surface and peaked out… just for a minute.
I’m holding on to her… I’m still going to let her come out in her own time… I’m afraid to scare her off… but I got to see her last night… a glimpse… and she’s just as healthy and happy and strong as she was when I left her… And she didn’t even seem sad or disappointed that she got left behind… for I only left her to protect her… to hide her from the pain and anguish that she didn’t deserve to have to endure.  I put her away so that at least a part of me would survive unscathed.  Maybe she could have helped me… but I’m glad that none of the last five years touched her…