Red Flag

This is a red flag.  I know what they mean when I see them now.  I lived a long and arduous part of my past ignorning red flags.  Maybe my tolerance for red flags is tinier now than it used to be. 
Even itty bitty red flags are a HUGE problem for me. 

To me, itty bitty white lies about unimportant things are just as important and hurtful as great big huge lies about very important things…

My bullshit meter (as Kathleen says) starts at Bullshit and ppl outside my inner circle need to work at getting it to drop down… Earning trust I think is what it’s called.  I used to give my trust away… to anyone… at anytime.  Now… no.  Now, when you have no history with me… no past trust built up and then you lie to me, even about itty bitty things, it makes my bullshit meter soar right past bullshit… the only thing on that meter past Bullshit is the great wide open in which I am no longer interested in any sort of relationship…

Do I think this is sad?  Yes.  Because I think there are people in life that deserve second chances.  I believe that we all have bad days.  Am I going to let it slide?  No.  Because I can NOT have gone through five years of hell and then a year of recovering from hell only to go down a path that could potentially hurt me again.  Maybe ‘itty bitty white lie’ was a one time thing… maybe ‘itty bitty white lie’ wouldn’t be a big deal to someone else.  But when you want to be in any sort of relationship, you need to respect the person’s past.  And my past says, friends, lovers, co workers, family… no one gets to let a lie slide past me… I don’t live like that ANYMORE!  Yes, it’s true that not everyone knows what my particular past is.  In my opinion you shouldn’t need to.  Treat me with respect and then we have no problem.  Decide not to… only one. little. itty. bitty. time and you find out that my tolerance is zero for that behavior.  I dont’ think you need to know my history in order to know what not to do… it’s not that hard…

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One thought on “Red Flag

  1. Not so much that you can't go down a path that could hurt you, they could all hurt at some time or another. But to go 5 years + and not have learned anything? That would be horribly wasteful. I know the story behind this post and I say that you are right in taking your blinders off or removing the excuse-goggles and putting this in perspective.

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