Not as easy done as said my friends. There’s this thing I like to call my Brain Baggage. It’s a never ending loop of worries and responsibilities and expectations. It’s also creative thoughts, ideas, plans, dreams, goals. Not all negative, but the result of carrying it all around at all times of the day (and night) is negative.
I don’t stop thinking about it, and certainly, it goes everywhere with me. Work, home, the bathroom, bedtime… anywhere I am, my pack of baggage is. It’s hard to relax when you’re carrying that around. It’s heavy and it constantly reminds you of it’s presence. It strains your shoulders, burns your neck… your head and back ache from the strain of pretending that you don’t have an elephant strapped to your back… to your mind.
The answer then most definitely would be to set the damn pack down every once in a while and allow yourself to feel lighter wouldn’t it? To stretch your arms and legs… your back and shoulders and see what just being feels like… without being suffocated and weighed down. Do you think if you set it down often enough, you could figure out how to pick less of it up every time. How to differenciate between what is essential, and what can be left in storage.
Where do you store that non essential stuff so you don’t have to pack it around? I guess every person has a different storage system. A blog, a list, a book.
I often buy books… beautiful blank notebooks and then never write a spec in them. I find the blank pages to be refreshing and an inspiration. Perhaps I should let the book hold the brain baggage and let my mind be refreshing and an inspiration.
I’ve decided to commit to learning how to physically relax.. To putting down that Brain Baggage for a time… I don’t relax. I don’t ever ask my body to let go of what it’s holding on to and rejeuvenate. I tried that last night… I’ve been having a terrible time sleeping… I can’t get to sleep and then when I’m asleep I feel like I’m busy the whole time so when I wake up, I need a nap to recover from being so ‘busy’ all night and I think that it’s not a great idea to have to take Gravol every night.
My friend Kathleen suggested I download an app (there’s an app for that!) that was a guided meditation… I did… it guided me through relaxing… from my tippy toes to the top of my head… Altho I guess you’re supposed to end up in some sort of ‘trance’, my mind was still beebopping all over the place but I could feel my body relaxing. One thing at a time I told myself, so I allowed myself to just get what I could out of it, which was to feel my body relax. I didn’t particularly care for her voice, so when that was done (30 min) I downloaded a different one. It was a male voice and I’m not sure if it was because I had also taken a half a Gravol, or because I was really relaxed, but I managed to fall asleep. Of course then I woke up, realized I’d been asleep, rejoiced a bit, took the headphones off, rolled over and then was WIDE AWAKE worrying about how I was going to fall back asleep.
I think putting my brain baggage in a book, setting down the pack every once in a while and learning how to breath and relax so as to give my body and mind a chance at relaxation will be immensely helpful. Maybe I’ll still have to take a Gravol to go to sleep but I think that now that I have no toxins in my body, no toxins on my body, my mind deserves a break from all those toxins too.
It’s funny, this ‘grain free’ thing… When I committed to doing it, and found within days that it was a pleasant result, it started a snowball effect that continues on. It made me realize how good it felt to treat that one part of myself well… and it made me want to sort out other parts… even ones that I wasn’t aware were bothering me…
Life is a constant renewal and reassessment… I guess I’ve been out of the loop in this for a while, but to me it seems like such an exciting adventure!